5 Reasons Why Nobody Understands What You Do

imageEver walked out of a conference or networking meeting feeling that nobody seemed to ‘Get’ what you do?

Or that they did get it, but they didn’t care?

Maybe you were talking to the wrong people.

A tree surgeon visiting a marine biologists’ convention probably won’t get very far whatever they say.

Putting that aside, the most likely reason nobody understands is that you’re not describing it properly.

If that’s the case, don’t worry, you’re in good company.

Most people screw it up badly to start off with.  I certainly did.

And if you pay attention, you’ll see the same mistakes being made over and over again.

Here are five of the bloopers I’ve noticed most:

Mistake #1: “I am a…. “

I’ve put this one first, because it’s the answer most of us give.    Which makes sense, because it sounds like a logical answer to the question.

Except it isn’t.

Because the when people ask “What Do You Do?”, that’s not what they really want to ask you.

The real question is “Why should I continue paying attention to you?”

Try it:

Other person:  “Why should I continue paying attention to you?”

You: “I’m a life coach/IT consultant/Project Manager.”

Doesn’t make quite so much sense now, does it?

Mistake #2: “We deliver by results via best-of-breed conversations throughout the value chain”

Corporate Jargon is a sort of anti-language.  It allows us to exchange coherent-sounding noises without actually conveying any meaningful information whatsoever.  Quite an achievement, I’m sure you’ll agree.

The worst thing about it is that it’s so insidious. You hear the nicest people suddenly dropping “moving forward” into an otherwise pleasant conversation.

Here’s a quick test to find out if your answer contains jargon.  Write it down.  Now give it to another person who doesn’t work in your industry, and ask them to tell you what it means.

If you get a blank stare, or something that you don’t recognise at all, you have a problem.

A confession: I am not immune to this. I went through a phase of overusing the word “leverage” a few months back, until I realised what I was doing and had to stab myself in the hand with a pair of scissors whenever I said it to make it stop.

You’ll be pleased to hear I’ve now completely stopped the word “leverage”, and am slowly regaining the use of my fingers.

Mistake #3: Answering with an essay

Another one that’s a favourite at networking events.    If uncontrolled, it means that by the time of a table of 10 people have finished telling you what they do during a breakfast meeting, everyone’s wondering what’s for lunch.

It’s much easier to fall prey to this when you’re talking to a group, because you’re less likely to notice everyone’s eyes glazing over.

We make this mistake because we’re afraid that unless we cram in every. single. little. detail. about our business, someone might miss out.

In reality, the opposite is true. The more information you try to cram in, the less likely people are to retain any of what you’ve said.

If you want proof of this, try watching some prime-time TV commercials.  Count how many messages the advertiser tries to fit in to their 30 second spot (hint:  you’ll only need one finger to count on).  Learn from them.

Mistake #4: “I um… ah… erm… sort of… you know”

A quick quiz for you.  Which of the following impressions would you like to convey when a potential customer, whom you are meeting for the first time, asks “What Do You Do?”:

A.  A confident, capable and likeable person who has given a lot of thought to their business, the sort of customers they can help best, and how to communicate this

B.  Someone who has just decided to leave their job, hasn’t really nailed down what they do yet, and was hoping they wouldn’t have to answer this question

C. Hugh Grant caught in the midst of committing sexual impropriety

If it’s B or C, go right ahead with this one.  Otherwise, you might want to try a different approach.

Mistake #5: Switching off your normal voice and turning into an infomercial

When I used to go to too many networking events, I would sometimes have nightmares about the world being taken over by zombies. This dream had a twist from the usual zombie apocalypse though: instead of trying to eat my brains they would force me into a corner me and pitch at me nonstop about their service for a hour.

One moment I’d a be talking to a normal human being, the next moment their eyes defocus, their expression goes slack and I’d be bearing the full brunt of a force 9 sales pitch.

Sound familiar?

It’s easy to spot if you’re guilty of this. Do people instantly remember a pressing commitment that they had previously forgotten when you approach them?    If not, you’re probably safe.

How about you? What’s your ‘favourite’ mistake? Tell me in the comments!

Why the Question “What Do You Do?” is Actually a Deadly Trap

imageWhen someone asks “What Do You Do”, they are actually setting a deadly trap for you to stumble into. Not out of malice, you understand, but just because that’s the way most have us have been brought up.

You see, if there’s one thing that 18 years of schooling and upbringing does to prepare us for the adult world, it’s to teach us:

“Never ask the question you really want to ask, lest you be shunned and cast out forever from the tribe. Or at least sent to your room.”

This causes a conflict when we meet people for the first time. We have a natural urge to know where they fit into our world. Of course, the quickest way to do this would be to ask direct, probing questions.

We don’t do that, though, because we have a distant memory of getting yelled at for asking aunty why she smells funny. Instead, we go for the safer option: asking them “What Do You Do?”

Answering the real question

Most of us, being kind and trusting souls, take this question at face value and answer it straight. “I’m an IT consultant” we say proudly, or “I’m a business coach”.

The response is, invariably, disappointing. Their eyes glaze over. The trap is sprung.

Because… that isn’t what they really want to know.

Nope, what most people really, honestly want to know when they meet a new person is:

1. “Where are you in relation to me in the social pecking order?”

and/or

2. “Why should I continue paying attention to you?”

I’m not going to say much about the first one, because this site isn’t called “TenMoreWaysToImpressPeopleAtYourSchoolReunion”. My only suggestion is to have fun with it occasionally. I like to tell people at social events I’m retired, just to see how they react. This is probably why I don’t get invited to many parties.

We are going to look at the second one though, because “Why should I continue paying attention to you” is the question you must answer to be successful in any advertising that you do, ever.

And in a business context, your answer to “What do you?” is most definitely advertising.

Why should anyone pay attention to you?

The main reason that people want to keep talking to you is because they think they can gain something from the interaction.

This might simply be someone to pass the time with in an agreeable manner . For our purposes though, let’s assume it’s because you can help them or someone they know.

And what information do you need give them to enable them to work this out?

You need to tell them:

  • who you help
  • what problems you help them with
  • and for an added bonus, give them some evidence to back it up.

(A “For example” story will do fine for the last one. I have met people who carry testimonials round with them, but I personally find that idea a bit weird. Remember: networking is like dating, but with a different end-goal. Would you take testimonials with you on a date? )

So – why should people pay attention to you? Tell me in the comments!

Crabs Smoking Cigarettes and Sleep Deprivation: When Networking Goes Wrong (and How to Avoid it)

Crab Smoking Cigarette

Image Credit: Flickr / MicahMacallen

Ever thought how much easier it would be to get your business off the ground if only you could go without sleeping?

Just think, an extra 2,500 hours a year to handle all the little tasks that keep getting bumped to the bottom of the pile.

Like meeting and following up with new contacts and prospective clients.

Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I can’t show you how to get by on less than 7 hours a night without turning into a dribbling idiot.

I’ve tried, and the results weren’t pretty.

What I can share, however, are some steps to help you get more out of the time you do spend networking.

So here they are:

Step 1. Know how much money every minute is worth to you

This works because we’re very poor at tracking our time disappearing as we fritter it, but we’re (usually) better at adding up the cost of things.

How much? Your hourly rate is a good start. After all, if you don’t think your time is worth what you charge for it, why should anyone else?

So, knowing this, would you pay $150 for the hour you’ve spent retweeting pictures of crabs smoking cigarettes this week?

Step 2. Get clear on what you want from all this social activity

What exactly will you get for the time (which = money, remember) you’re investing? More clients? Advice and expertise? Shoulders to cry on during those times you wish you had your old job back?

Any of those are fine. As long as you decide in advance. Then, once you’ve decided, keep a track of your goals to see if you’re achieving them.

Step 3. Be selective

Although you’re doing this to meet people, that doesn’t mean you need to spend hours on the phone to everyone who gives you a business card. Selectivity is the key to maintaining your sanity here.

Does this person inhabit a similar world to you, work-wise? Did you genuinely like them?

Yes, I know there’s a school of thought that anyone who can fog a mirror could refer you to your perfect, best ever client. But unless you’re a pathological extrovert, you’ll probably wear yourself out a long time before that happens.

Step 4. Avoid making rash promises

“I’ll call you” is a promise. Even if you say it casually, you’ll be reminded of it whenever you look at that persons business card sitting on your desk, meaning to get round to it.

That little twinge of guilt takes up valuable mental space you could be using for something important. Like planning your next promotional release of live sheep with your website address painted on into the local shopping centre.

Step 5. Be generous (with no expectation of getting anything back)

If all the above sounds terribly self-centred and calculating, that’s because it is.

I’m a firm believer that when you’re planning any marketing activity, you need to work out exactly what you’ll get out of it. Otherwise the answer will probably be ‘very little’.

But that doesn’t mean you should carry that over into your behaviour when you’re dealing with other people. Quite the opposite.

Once you’ve identified people who you really want to get to know better, go out of your way to be helpful, with no agenda other than being a helpful, nice person. This sounds counter-intuitive, but it works because your goal is to build long term relationships with people. The best way to do that is to be likeable and trustworthy.

It’s important that you don’t have expectations, because nobody likes a scorekeeper. In some cases, people will let you down. That’s ok because in my experience the people who really respond well and help you out in return more than make up for it.

By following these steps, and being patient and consistent, I’ve gotten to know plenty of very cool people who have really helped my business.

And I’ve got plenty of sleep. Result!

So… how do you manage your time when meeting people?

What A Toddler Knows About Having A Stress-Free Business (That You’ve Probably Forgotten)

Peinture enfants et créativitéHave you ever noticed how toddlers are so adept at getting exactly what they want from life?

Considering that they can’t read, write, drive a car, or even form proper sentences, they seem to get by just fine, thank you very much.

It’s something I never paid much attention to until I was entrusted with a small person of my
own to raise, but I’ve come to the conclusion there’s a lot we can learn from them.

Or more specifically, a lot we can unlearn.

Because although we pick up a lot of handy skills as we grow up, such as how not to wet ourselves in public, we also learn a lot of stuff that isn’t so useful.

A big one is the habit of taking things at face value, and not asking awkward questions, in case we get told off or upset someone.

How much are you taking at face value?

This leads us to accept situations that really don’t make sense, if only we’d dig a little deeper.

Let’s look at some examples:

At a networking meeting: “You don’t need any help, and are quite capable of building your own website using Microsoft Word?”

= You miss out a new client, and someone else misses out on having a website that could actually attract new clients rather than embarrass them.

When taking on a new client: “Everybody else gives 30 days credit, so let’s act like an interest-free bank too.”

= You give credit when you don’t need to, putting your cashflow under strain, and causing you to spend several sleepless nights each month wondering if you’ll actually get paid.

When planning marketing: “I go after any client I can, because seems like a bad idea to turn down business when the economy is bad.”

= You end up chasing round in circles after people who don’t really get what you do, and won’t appreciate you even if they do become customers.

Not exactly a recipe for an enjoyable and stress-free business.

How to unpick almost anything using only three letters

Toddlers, on the other hand, may not have many words in their vocabulary, but they make very good use of the ones they do have.

Their number one favourite is “Why?” As in:

“No, you can’t kidnap next door’s cat and bring it to bed with you”
“Why?”
“Because next door will miss it.”
“Why?”
“Because the cat won’t be home at night.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ll have kidnapped it.”
”Why?”
”Because…”

At this point you realise you’ve painted yourself into a corner, and then have to resort to “No. Because I said so!”. The resulting hurt look makes you feel like you’ve just kicked a puppy, and you’ll now agree to any other request your toddler makes for the rest of the evening out of sheer guilt.

Adult 0 : Small Person 1.

A word of warning

I’d only recommend asking your clients “why” in exactly the same way 10 times in a row if you have the toddler level of cuteness required to get away with it. (hint: if you’re not cute enough to climb into complete strangers’ laps without them calling the police, you should probably give it a miss)

But there are very few situations where asking a few more questions before accepting things as ‘the way it’s done’ won’t help you out.

So next time you’re about to make an important decision, just pause and ask yourself

“Would a 3-year old go for this?”

Warning: If You’re Asking This Question, Your Marketing May Be In Trouble

Trouble Ahead...I bet you’ve asked yourself this question several times.
I know I have.  It’s…

“How do I get people to buy what I’m selling?”

Why does this question spell trouble?

Isn’t that the entire point of marketing?

That’s what I used to think, back when I was in the IT business. I remember we had started selling an IT security product, designed to stop errant employees from stealing data on USB pen drives.

Sounds like a great idea right? We got so excited, thinking about how this wonderful piece of software was going to help our customers sleep easier at night.

At first, we got some encouraging results. A few customers snapped it up.  But the majority… weren’t so enthusiastic. Although we knew they needed this additional security, they just thought of it as a ‘nice to have’.

“What’s wrong with these people?”

Is what I’d wonder as I walked out of yet another “sounds interesting, we’ll get back to you” meeting. We tried every angle we could think of to get people to buy this wondrous product – case studies, sending them news stories about data theft, giving them demos of the product.

But each time, they’d just shrug their shoulders and say “it hasn’t happened to us yet.”

Eventually, I learned something. They may have needed protection against their staff stealing their data, but they didn’t want it.

And trying to get someone to buy something that they don’t really want is extremely hard work. Especially if you think you know better than they do.

This is one of the things that often seems so unfair when you first set up in business. After all, you studied hard at school, and put in long hours at work to get the level of knowledge you have now.  You very job title used to command respect.

Why on earth should you have to persuade people? They should just do what you tell them to, because you’re the expert, right?

(I don’t know about you, but at no point during my time at school did my teacher say to me: “work hard, get good grades, go to university, and after that you’ll have a deliver a series of seminars to convince people why they should pay you for all this expertise you’ve acquired.”)

Well…. you’re right: it’s probably not fair. We could spend all day complaining about it.  And we could spend our entire lives trying to persuade people to do what’s good for them.

I don’t fancy our chances though.  Just think of all the money that governments pour into getting people to stop smoking, eat less cake and lay off the red wine a bit, year after year.

Personally, I’ve come to the conclusion that humans are pretty much wired to ignore what we’re supposed to do in favour of what we want to do. We just need to roll with that.

So what am I supposed to sell? Chocolate Cake?

Well, maybe. Chocolate cake is very tasty, after all. But if you don’t fancy the life of a wondering chocolatier, here’s another suggestion:

Imagine you have to give a bitter-tasting pill to a large dog. You could wrestle it to the ground, prise its jaws apart, force the pill down its throat, and then call the hospital to ask them to sew your fingers back on.

Or you could wrap the pill up in a large, tasty steak, put it in front of the dog, and allow doggie nature to do the rest of the work.

So – how could you wrap the services you know your client needs in something they actually want?

Tell me in the comments!

Mindmap: How To Make An Adventure (Not Just A Goal)

So in the previous post we talked about how having an adventure in a world filled with dragons and treasure was far more fun (and motivating) than setting goals in a world filled with spreadsheets and follow-up calls.

All very wonderful, Iain, but how do I apply this in a way that builds my business?

I had a feeling you’d ask me that.  So I’ve made this mind map to guide you through it.

This approach is especially useful if you have a goal you’ve been stalled on for a while.

Why?  Because thinking of it in a different way like this will help you slip through mental roadblocks like Speedy Gonzales on a cheese-smuggling run.

When I took someone through this yesterday with a goal she’d been stuck on all week, she got moving again in 9 minutes. 9 MINUTES. Seriously, try it out.

image

Download the map, print it out, answer the questions, and go forth and conquer.    For double points, get someone else to ask you the questions.

Click here to get it as a PDF

If you want the original mindmap file (for which you’ll need XMind, free from www.xmind.net), click here.

Happy dragon taming.  Tell me how you get on in the comments !

Podcast: Struggling With Goals? Try An Adventure Instead!

I was talking with Catherine Caine (who runs the wonderful Cash and Joy ) earlier this month about setting goals.  During our chat, I came to the conclusion that although goals are very useful things to have in any endeavour, they can leave you a bit cold.

This might seem contrary for someone in my line of work, but I see two problems with them:

  1. They’re often a bit arbitrary: “I will have X clients by date Y”, or “I will make N thousand pounds whilst working P hours per week.” Hardly the stuff of great inspiration.
  2. Even if you come up with an amazing, inspiring goal, you’re going to spend far more time working towards that goal than you will basking in the brief moment of achievement.

Now, I’m not a fan of picking holes in something if I don’t have a suggestion for improving it. So I got to thinking about what I prefer.  And I realised that the stuff that really inspires me isn’t the goal, it’s the adventure you have on the way there.

Having spoken to a few people about this, it seems I’m not the only one who feels this way.

So Catherine and I put together this 11-minute audio interview on how to stop worrying about your goals and have an adventure instead.

[audio:http://tenmoreclients.com/mp3/goals-adventure.mp3]

(or right click here and choose “save as” to download the interview)

This is the first time I’ve used audio on this site, and I rather enjoyed it putting it together.

Let me know if you’d like to see (or hear) more of these in the comments, and what adventures you’re planning this year!

A Lesson in Taking Risks from a Skeleton (with a Lightsaber)

skeleton-light-saberOn Halloween, I broke with the habit of a lifetime.

I actually remembered to buy some trick-or-treat sweets in advance for once.  Tonight was going to be a much better effort than my usual after-the-fact dash to the corner shop with instructions to my wife to ‘Keep ‘em talking!’.

Nope, tonight I was prepared. Locked and loaded*.  Three bags of sugar-charged pick’n’ mix, all ready to go.

So after about an hour,  I was a little disappointed when I didn’t get a single knock on the door. Not one.

Puzzled, I look out of the window.

Then it dawned on me:  I had my sweets.  I’d left the light on.  But there was Something Missing.

All the other houses in the road had little jack-o-lanterns in the window. It would seem that standard Halloween Protocol in  our area is to give a Sign that you’re in on this whole thing.

I’d forgotten about that bit. Oops.

Never mind.  Maybe next year.

[*I should point out that although that’s a firearm metaphor, I wasn’t sitting by the front door with an assault rifle.  That wouldn’t really have been in keeping with the spirit of things.]

I resigned myself to having failed once again in my mission

Then the doorbell rang.

I opened the door.  And standing there was a four-foot-tall skeleton.  Holding a Lightsaber.  Along with a sadly empty bucket.

“Trick or treat?”, he asked plaintively.

I smiled, then popped my head out of the door. The streets were empty.   Our skeletal Jedi friend was clearly a late starter.

He wasn’t doing too well, presumably due to supplies of sweets being exhausted by the competition.

So I delightedly put the sweets in his bucket. All of them. They spilled over the top.

He was now a very happy skeleton. And I wasn’t faced with the prospect of working off all those sweets which I’d inevitably end up munching if they were left sitting around the house.

Let’s look at this from our skeletal friend’s point of view

Having started late, he was faced with what looked like a barren field.

He could have given up, and gone home empty handed. Decided that trick-or-treating wasn’t happening this year.

But instead, he decided to go off the beaten path, and ring the doorbell of someone who had a light on, but wasn’t obviously handing out sweets (because I’d done a half-assed job of  advertising the fact).

What’s the worst that could have happened?

I suppose he could have got a rude, unfriendly response. But that was unlikely, especially as his mum was standing behind him.

There’s a fair chance that he could have got a simple and polite “no”. No big deal.  Especially for a kid – ever noticed how it’s only when we ‘grow up’ that we stop asking things in case someone says no?

But there’s also a chance that his risk could pay off

Like it did in this case.

In business, it’s too easy to fall into the trap of telling ourselves that there’s no point trying, because it’s all been done already.  When all we’re doing is looking at the obvious paths, and assuming that because they’re all worn out, everything else must be too.

We don’t want to do something out of the ordinary because it might go wrong.  And that’s how we miss out.

I’m not going to pretend that every time you do something unorthodox, you’ll end up with a bucket full of sweets.

Quite often, it won’t work. But the downside is very rarely as bad as you think.

So where are you following the obvious path?   And how could you take a detour to risk finding something wonderful?

PS: Find another lesson and win a free session

When I was writing this post, I spotted at several other lessons here.  Let me know what else you see in the comments. I’ll give the author of the best answer a free Irresistible Introduction session worth $47.

Image Credit: Kevin Dooley. Yes, I know it’s not a skeleton with a lightsaber. But this appeared when I typed “Light Saber” into Flickr and I just couldn’t pass it up. I mean, how much cooler would Star Wars have been if it had included Giant Cats?

What To Do When Networking For Referrals Doesn’t Work

A picture of a boy dressed as a business man. He is holding a small chalkboard with a graph drawn on it, and shrugging his shoulders.

I’ve been using networking in one form or another to build my business for over 10 years.

Quite frankly, my results have been mixed.

In the early days I spent a lot of time going to wine and canapés-type events hosted by the local chamber of commerce, meeting a lot of people who seemed just as desperate for business as I was. I got one or two leads out of it (which didn’t come to much), a few decent suppliers, but very little else.

After that, I found out about more organised networking groups who ran breakfasts, lunches and the like.  I went along to a lot of these.    Again, a few leads, some interesting contacts and not much more.

Then someone told me about the importance of one-on-one meetings.  If you wanted to make contacts, I learned, you needed to do more than just swap business cards.  This made sense to me.   These meetings were so important , they even had their own bit of networking jargon: ‘the 121’.

One-on-One meetings weren’t enough

Dutifully, I took every opportunity to get a 121.  If I met someone I even vaguely connected with at an event, I’d set up a meeting. Then we’d get together and talk about how we could refer business to each other.

This time, I got more out of it.    I got a few clients, and did meet some people who helped my business.   But if you added up all the time I spent having coffee and lunch with people, and compared it against the benefits, I suspect it wouldn’t have stacked up too well.

In frustration, I spoke to my fellow networkers about this. Although some were doing well, my story  seemed to be far from unique.    Everyone knew that networking was a great way to build a business, but very few people seemed to be building much of a business from it.

Then a couple of years ago, I invested in an expensive year-long sales training course. And during that course, something interesting happened.

Although the course itself was with a very small group of people (less than 25) , I got a lot of business in referrals and direct work from them.  More, in fact, than I had received in the previous 8 years’ meeting and chatting with what probably amounts to several hundred people.

And besides the referrals, I made a few contacts who over the past 2 years have provided me with awesome help and support for my business. This alone has been worth several times the cost of the course.

What was the difference?

So why did the training course provide more return than a decade of breakfasts & lunches?

I think it’s because we got to know each other far better than you can in the artificial confines of a “lets swap referrals” meeting.

Here’s how:

  1. It was spread out over a long period of time.  Week in, week out, for the whole year, we’d be working together for several hours.  This gave us time to build up trust.
  2. We spent a lot of time helping each other out, and practising the training material with each other.  This gave us the opportunity to really get to know the other people worked.
  3. We were all seriously invested in the process.  The high fee ensured that.  That investment carried over into commitment, and if you’re committed to achieving a shared goal with someone, you’ll get to know them fast.
  4. We were going through a process of change together.  Friendships are based on shared experiences.  Strong business relationships are the same.

Did I hit it off with everyone in the course?  No.  But the people I got on with, I got to know very well.    Nearly two years later, I still speak to them on a regular basis.

This wasn’t an isolated incident

In fact, it happened again this year, when I joined an online training course, the Remarkable Marketing Blueprint.   The parameters were different: it was nowhere near as expensive, and the intensity was less, but the process was similar.  A group of people, getting together and helping each other through a challenge over time.

And once again, I’ve built some extremely valuable relationships with people.  Purely as a side effect of getting together to help one another out.

You’ll notice, that’s the opposite way to how we usually think about networking. We typically connect with people who we think can help with our business, and talk to them about specifically that.

I’ve come to the conclusion that people simply aren’t wired that way.  It’s very difficult to build a strong, productive network just by getting together and talking about doing business.

It’s a bit like going up to someone you’ve never met and asking them “will you marry me?” If you’re lucky, you’ll get an incredulous ‘no’.

If you’re unlucky you’ll get a smack in the mouth.

And if you’re really unlucky, they’ll say yes, and you’ll end up hitched to the sort of person who marries the first random who asks them.

So if you’re finding that networking’s not giving you the sort of business boost you’d hoped for, try changing your focus a little.  How about relaxing from the whole ‘meeting and greeting’ thing, and focus instead on helping out those people who you really, really click with?

What’s your experience with this been?  Tell me in the comments!

PS If you’ve enjoyed this post, check out my free course, “Why Is My Networking Not Working?”.

Are You Stuck On The Marketing Hamster Wheel?

Most people, when they start their business, do whatever they think will get them  in front of prospective clients the quickest.

That’s why they typically choose things like cold calling, networking or direct mail.

And there’s nothing wrong with this, at least to start out with – after all, that stuff often works.

But what happens next is that you get busy, stop doing those things, and then the flow of prospective clients dries up.Continue Reading