Ever walked out of a conference or networking meeting feeling that nobody seemed to ‘Get’ what you do?

Or that they did get it, but they didn’t care?

Maybe you were talking to the wrong people.

A tree surgeon visiting a marine biologists’ convention probably won’t get very far whatever they say.

Putting that aside, the most likely reason nobody understands is that you’re not describing it properly.

If that’s the case, don’t worry, you’re in good company.

Most people screw it up badly to start off with.  I certainly did.

And if you pay attention, you’ll see the same mistakes being made over and over again.

Here are five of the bloopers I’ve noticed most:

Mistake #1: “I am a…. “

I’ve put this one first, because it’s the answer most of us give.    Which makes sense, because it sounds like a logical answer to the question.

Except it isn’t.

Because the when people ask “What Do You Do?”, that’s not what they really want to ask you.

The real question is “Why should I continue paying attention to you?”

Try it:

Other person:  “Why should I continue paying attention to you?”

You: “I’m a life coach/IT consultant/Project Manager.”

Doesn’t make quite so much sense now, does it?

Mistake #2: “We deliver by results via best-of-breed conversations throughout the value chain”

Corporate Jargon is a sort of anti-language.  It allows us to exchange coherent-sounding noises without actually conveying any meaningful information whatsoever.  Quite an achievement, I’m sure you’ll agree.

The worst thing about it is that it’s so insidious. You hear the nicest people suddenly dropping “moving forward” into an otherwise pleasant conversation.

Here’s a quick test to find out if your answer contains jargon.  Write it down.  Now give it to another person who doesn’t work in your industry, and ask them to tell you what it means.

If you get a blank stare, or something that you don’t recognise at all, you have a problem.

A confession: I am not immune to this. I went through a phase of overusing the word “leverage” a few months back, until I realised what I was doing and had to stab myself in the hand with a pair of scissors whenever I said it to make it stop.

You’ll be pleased to hear I’ve now completely stopped the word “leverage”, and am slowly regaining the use of my fingers.

Mistake #3: Answering with an essay

Another one that’s a favourite at networking events.    If uncontrolled, it means that by the time of a table of 10 people have finished telling you what they do during a breakfast meeting, everyone’s wondering what’s for lunch.

It’s much easier to fall prey to this when you’re talking to a group, because you’re less likely to notice everyone’s eyes glazing over.

We make this mistake because we’re afraid that unless we cram in every. single. little. detail. about our business, someone might miss out.

In reality, the opposite is true. The more information you try to cram in, the less likely people are to retain any of what you’ve said.

If you want proof of this, try watching some prime-time TV commercials.  Count how many messages the advertiser tries to fit in to their 30 second spot (hint:  you’ll only need one finger to count on).  Learn from them.

Mistake #4: “I um… ah… erm… sort of… you know”

A quick quiz for you.  Which of the following impressions would you like to convey when a potential customer, whom you are meeting for the first time, asks “What Do You Do?”:

A.  A confident, capable and likeable person who has given a lot of thought to their business, the sort of customers they can help best, and how to communicate this

B.  Someone who has just decided to leave their job, hasn’t really nailed down what they do yet, and was hoping they wouldn’t have to answer this question

C. Hugh Grant caught in the midst of committing sexual impropriety

If it’s B or C, go right ahead with this one.  Otherwise, you might want to try a different approach.

Mistake #5: Switching off your normal voice and turning into an infomercial

When I used to go to too many networking events, I would sometimes have nightmares about the world being taken over by zombies. This dream had a twist from the usual zombie apocalypse though: instead of trying to eat my brains they would force me into a corner me and pitch at me nonstop about their service for a hour.

One moment I’d a be talking to a normal human being, the next moment their eyes defocus, their expression goes slack and I’d be bearing the full brunt of a force 9 sales pitch.

Sound familiar?

It’s easy to spot if you’re guilty of this. Do people instantly remember a pressing commitment that they had previously forgotten when you approach them?    If not, you’re probably safe.

How about you? What’s your ‘favourite’ mistake? Tell me in the comments!

I’ve been using networking in one form or another to build my business for over 10 years.

Quite frankly, my results have been mixed.

In the early days I spent a lot of time going to wine and canapés-type events hosted by the local chamber of commerce, meeting a lot of people who seemed just as desperate for business as I was. I got one or two leads out of it (which didn’t come to much), a few decent suppliers, but very little else.

After that, I found out about more organised networking groups who ran breakfasts, lunches and the like.  I went along to a lot of these.    Again, a few leads, some interesting contacts and not much more.

Then someone told me about the importance of one-on-one meetings.  If you wanted to make contacts, I learned, you needed to do more than just swap business cards.  This made sense to me.   These meetings were so important , they even had their own bit of networking jargon: ‘the 121’.

One-on-One meetings weren’t enough

Dutifully, I took every opportunity to get a 121.  If I met someone I even vaguely connected with at an event, I’d set up a meeting. Then we’d get together and talk about how we could refer business to each other.

This time, I got more out of it.    I got a few clients, and did meet some people who helped my business.   But if you added up all the time I spent having coffee and lunch with people, and compared it against the benefits, I suspect it wouldn’t have stacked up too well.

In frustration, I spoke to my fellow networkers about this. Although some were doing well, my story  seemed to be far from unique.    Everyone knew that networking was a great way to build a business, but very few people seemed to be building much of a business from it.

Then a couple of years ago, I invested in an expensive year-long sales training course. And during that course, something interesting happened.

Although the course itself was with a very small group of people (less than 25) , I got a lot of business in referrals and direct work from them.  More, in fact, than I had received in the previous 8 years’ meeting and chatting with what probably amounts to several hundred people.

And besides the referrals, I made a few contacts who over the past 2 years have provided me with awesome help and support for my business. This alone has been worth several times the cost of the course.

What was the difference?

So why did the training course provide more return than a decade of breakfasts & lunches?

I think it’s because we got to know each other far better than you can in the artificial confines of a “lets swap referrals” meeting.

Here’s how:

1. It was spread out over a long period of time.  Week in, week out, for the whole year, we’d be working together for several hours.  This gave us time to build up trust.
2. We spent a lot of time helping each other out, and practising the training material with each other.  This gave us the opportunity to really get to know the other people worked.
3. We were all seriously invested in the process.  The high fee ensured that.  That investment carried over into commitment, and if you’re committed to achieving a shared goal with someone, you’ll get to know them fast.
4. We were going through a process of change together.  Friendships are based on shared experiences.  Strong business relationships are the same.

Did I hit it off with everyone in the course?  No.  But the people I got on with, I got to know very well.    Nearly two years later, I still speak to them on a regular basis.

This wasn’t an isolated incident

In fact, it happened again this year, when I joined an online training course, the Remarkable Marketing Blueprint.   The parameters were different: it was nowhere near as expensive, and the intensity was less, but the process was similar.  A group of people, getting together and helping each other through a challenge over time.

And once again, I’ve built some extremely valuable relationships with people.  Purely as a side effect of getting together to help one another out.

You’ll notice, that’s the opposite way to how we usually think about networking. We typically connect with people who we think can help with our business, and talk to them about specifically that.

I’ve come to the conclusion that people simply aren’t wired that way.  It’s very difficult to build a strong, productive network just by getting together and talking about doing business.

It’s a bit like going up to someone you’ve never met and asking them “will you marry me?” If you’re lucky, you’ll get an incredulous ‘no’.

If you’re unlucky you’ll get a smack in the mouth.

And if you’re really unlucky, they’ll say yes, and you’ll end up hitched to the sort of person who marries the first random who asks them.

So if you’re finding that networking’s not giving you the sort of business boost you’d hoped for, try changing your focus a little.  How about relaxing from the whole ‘meeting and greeting’ thing, and focus instead on helping out those people who you really, really click with?

What’s your experience with this been?  Tell me in the comments!

PS If you’ve enjoyed this post, check out my free course, “Why Is My Networking Not Working?”.