Have you ever noticed how toddlers are so adept at getting exactly what they want from life?
Considering that they can’t read, write, drive a car, or even form proper sentences, they seem to get by just fine, thank you very much.
It’s something I never paid much attention to until I was entrusted with a small person of my
own to raise, but I’ve come to the conclusion there’s a lot we can learn from them.
Or more specifically, a lot we can unlearn.
Because although we pick up a lot of handy skills as we grow up, such as how not to wet ourselves in public, we also learn a lot of stuff that isn’t so useful.
A big one is the habit of taking things at face value, and not asking awkward questions, in case we get told off or upset someone.
How much are you taking at face value?
This leads us to accept situations that really don’t make sense, if only we’d dig a little deeper.
Let’s look at some examples:
At a networking meeting: “You don’t need any help, and are quite capable of building your own website using Microsoft Word?”
= You miss out a new client, and someone else misses out on having a website that could actually attract new clients rather than embarrass them.
When taking on a new client: “Everybody else gives 30 days credit, so let’s act like an interest-free bank too.”
= You give credit when you don’t need to, putting your cashflow under strain, and causing you to spend several sleepless nights each month wondering if you’ll actually get paid.
When planning marketing: “I go after any client I can, because seems like a bad idea to turn down business when the economy is bad.”
= You end up chasing round in circles after people who don’t really get what you do, and won’t appreciate you even if they do become customers.
Not exactly a recipe for an enjoyable and stress-free business.
How to unpick almost anything using only three letters
Toddlers, on the other hand, may not have many words in their vocabulary, but they make very good use of the ones they do have.
Their number one favourite is “Why?” As in:
“No, you can’t kidnap next door’s cat and bring it to bed with you”
“Why?”
“Because next door will miss it.”
“Why?”
“Because the cat won’t be home at night.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ll have kidnapped it.”
”Why?”
”Because…”
At this point you realise you’ve painted yourself into a corner, and then have to resort to “No. Because I said so!”. The resulting hurt look makes you feel like you’ve just kicked a puppy, and you’ll now agree to any other request your toddler makes for the rest of the evening out of sheer guilt.
Adult 0 : Small Person 1.
A word of warning
I’d only recommend asking your clients “why” in exactly the same way 10 times in a row if you have the toddler level of cuteness required to get away with it. (hint: if you’re not cute enough to climb into complete strangers’ laps without them calling the police, you should probably give it a miss)
But there are very few situations where asking a few more questions before accepting things as ‘the way it’s done’ won’t help you out.
So next time you’re about to make an important decision, just pause and ask yourself
“Would a 3-year old go for this?”
{ 2 comments }
Hi Iain, very nice post.
I agree, asking why, in a certain manner, can put prospective clients onto the defensive. And, as you say, unless you are particularly ‘cute’ at doing this then the outcome may not be what is wanted!
You post good advice on how to win more clients. I blog on similar subjects sometimes, my readers will find your site an additional resource of quality.
Regards, Mac.
Hi Mac,
Thanks for commenting. Yes, it’s a fine balance between questioning and being abrasive. Although I find that most people who are worried about being too abrasive are in no danger of doing so. It’s the ones who don’t even notice (or care) who rub people up the wrong way.
Iain