When someone asks “What Do You Do”, they are actually setting a deadly trap for you to stumble into. Not out of malice, you understand, but just because that’s the way most have us have been brought up.
You see, if there’s one thing that 18 years of schooling and upbringing does to prepare us for the adult world, it’s to teach us:
“Never ask the question you really want to ask, lest you be shunned and cast out forever from the tribe. Or at least sent to your room.”
This causes a conflict when we meet people for the first time. We have a natural urge to know where they fit into our world. Of course, the quickest way to do this would be to ask direct, probing questions.
We don’t do that, though, because we have a distant memory of getting yelled at for asking aunty why she smells funny. Instead, we go for the safer option: asking them “What Do You Do?”
Answering the real question
Most of us, being kind and trusting souls, take this question at face value and answer it straight. “I’m an IT consultant” we say proudly, or “I’m a business coach”.
The response is, invariably, disappointing. Their eyes glaze over. The trap is sprung.
Because… that isn’t what they really want to know.
Nope, what most people really, honestly want to know when they meet a new person is:
1. “Where are you in relation to me in the social pecking order?”
and/or
2. “Why should I continue paying attention to you?”
I’m not going to say much about the first one, because this site isn’t called “TenMoreWaysToImpressPeopleAtYourSchoolReunion”. My only suggestion is to have fun with it occasionally. I like to tell people at social events I’m retired, just to see how they react. This is probably why I don’t get invited to many parties.
We are going to look at the second one though, because “Why should I continue paying attention to you” is the question you must answer to be successful in any advertising that you do, ever.
And in a business context, your answer to “What do you?” is most definitely advertising.
Why should anyone pay attention to you?
The main reason that people want to keep talking to you is because they think they can gain something from the interaction.
This might simply be someone to pass the time with in an agreeable manner . For our purposes though, let’s assume it’s because you can help them or someone they know.
And what information do you need give them to enable them to work this out?
You need to tell them:
- who you help
- what problems you help them with
- and for an added bonus, give them some evidence to back it up.
(A “For example” story will do fine for the last one. I have met people who carry testimonials round with them, but I personally find that idea a bit weird. Remember: networking is like dating, but with a different end-goal. Would you take testimonials with you on a date? )
So – why should people pay attention to you? Tell me in the comments!
